Mending the Broken Doll
by Miss Non Conformist
Summary: Running away doesn't make you a coward. Running away provides you with an opportunity to start fresh. Chapter 4 is now up! "As far as anyone was concerned, I ruined lives. But didn't anyone realize they had ruined mine?" LeahxOC
1. Runaway

LeahxOC

Chapter Song: Runaway by Cartel

(c) Miss Non Conformist

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" 'Know thyself?' If I knew myself, I'd run away." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Unfortunately, I couldn't sneak out in the middle of the night like other normal teenage girls did due to being surrounded by boys with supersonic ears who went patrolling at night.

So that's why I had stayed at home while everyone else went to the weekly bonfire. It was the perfect opportunity. The entire pack and their precious little imprints would be too busy having fun on the beach to notice my departure from their lives.

I opened the top most drawer of my bureau, taking out my neatly folded shirts and placing them in the rather beaten, black suitcase that was sitting open on my bed. Almost mechanically, I continued to do the same with the contents of the other drawers.

Even if they did know about my desire to leave, I'm sure they wouldn't stop me. Who would want the Queen Bitch around? No one. I was the biggest pain in their asses and they spent whatever time they could letting me know.

"_What a shame that leech had to die in your place Leah."_

"_Well at least someone wants me. The only person who would want you is a deranged, mentally ill rapist."_

"_You know, you could be very well considered a transsexual considering your lack of a certain female organ."_

Tears stung at my eyes as I remembered that last remark. I knew I deserved it but it didn't make it hurt any less. No woman wanted to be reminded that she was incapable of the primary function that the female species was expected to do.

No one wanted to be reminded that they were useless.

Brushing away the offending watermarks with the back of my hand, I turned to my closet.

As I went through the clothes, debating what to take and what to leave, my hand paused on a hanger at the back of the closet. Pulling it out, I stared at it for a few seconds. It was the dress I had worn to Senior Prom. The prom I had gone to with Sam. The Prom that was 5 weeks before he wrecked my life.

Tears threatened to escape again as I quickly threw the dress onto the closet floor. I would not, under any circumstances, think about that inconsiderate prick.

Forty minutes later, I was driving out of La Push, my suitcase and backpack in the back of my car. I would have preferred to run but I wanted to get far, far away from the place I had called home for the past nineteen years.

I stopped the car right after I passed the sign that told the world "Welcome to Forks." Turning a little in my seat, I looked back at the town and ultimately, the small Indian reservation that lay behind it.

The reasons why I was leaving this seemingly peaceful area were too numerous. But the most prominent reason that all the other ones amounted was that I had to live.

I was broken. Not only was I a freak of nature, being the only female shape shifter, but I was enough of a freak to be thrown to the side of the road by the man I had wasted four ears of my life and be told that I would never be able to go through one of the most wonderful, albeit painful, processes that other women would one day experience.

I'll admit it; I didn't exactly react to the news of Sam dumping me in the best way. I became a bitch, literally (I had no control over that) and figuratively. But being mean and a pain in the arse was how I had dealt with it the heartbreak I was going through. When I looked at it like that, I deserved the snide remarks thrown at me and the hateful vibes that came my way. But somewhere along the way, it became too much. A person, whether or not they possessed mythical traits, could only take so much hurt, animosity and malice before they broke. Sam had broken my heart, but the others on the reservation had broken my self-confidence and every other part of me. A person eventually starts believing that they truly don't deserve the right to live after being told it so many times. But I wouldn't give my pack the satisfaction of seeing me so broken. I retaliated with hurtful words and rebuttals along with walls as thick as the earth's core. Not the smartest idea, but that's how I dealt with it.

I turned back around in my seat and put my car in drive. I glanced at my rearview mirror one more time.

I may not deserve to be happy in the romantic sense, for not even fate would not sentence Satan to spend the rest of eternity with a bitch like me, but I could at least find a new life where mythical creatures didn't go creeping around in hopes of achieving a kill and where people wouldn't refer to me as_ Leah Clearwater, the Bitch of the Century Who Deserves No One and Nothing._

I was Leah Clearwater as I got onto the highway and someday I would be something more.

(c) Miss Non Conformist

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Reviews greatly appreciated :)

Expect longer chapters from now on. This was more of a prologue.

Questions? Formspring(dott)me/KKhoshbin


	2. Far Away From Here

LeahxOC

Chapter Song: Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold

(c) Miss Non Conformist

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"**Happiness depends upon ourselves." -- Aristotle**

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_10 days later  
May 9th  
10:56 AM_

When I said that I wanted to get as far away as possible, I meant it. The farther away I got, the less of a chance I had of the pack coming after me.

I snorted at the impossibility of the thought, causing the old woman in front of me to frown disapprovingly.

I muttered a sorry as she turned back around and started dumping her goods on the conveyer belt.

If the woman was looking for me to be some sort of perfect lady, then first impressions were deceiving. Then again, if she had spared a glance at my clothes, a pair of snug jeans and a t-shirt, she wouldn't have been deluded into thinking for a second that I was anything close to a lady.

As I waited for the lady to finish checking out her purchases, my eyes wandered to the wooden sign hanging on the wall in the front of the small grocery store: "Welcome to Fairfax, Illinois" The paint was chipping off, but it gave that homey sort of feeling you got with any small town.

Any small town like La Push. I shook my head. I wouldn't think about that place because thinking about lead to thinking about other things which often lead to my having to stop the car so that I could control myself.

I moved forward in the line and my eyes caught sight of a brochure on the ground. I picked it up as I moved towards the door with my groceries. Once I had loaded the non-perishable foods (I still didn't know where to go and so therefore had to be stocked) and was sitting in my car, I opened up the brochure. It was an ad for a cruise to England.

Cruises? Was that what I was interested in nowadays? I shook my head and nearly threw the brochure out the window before a thought occurred to me: Europe would be a perfect place to go. It was an entire ocean away!

But where in Europe would I go? England seemed like the ideal place what with the fact that everybody spoke English but I felt like leaning more towards France. I had taken French during high school and I was probably rusty but nothing a little studying couldn't fix.

Studying. I could go to college again. After all, I would need to get a job to make money and to just do something with my life.

My only problem now was money. I only had a few thousand that I had saved up over the years from jobs and from what dad had left me. I didn't have that many possessions with me and I wasn't like the pixie Cullen who could buy a house with the money she would gain from selling a fifth of her closet.

I groaned resting my head on the steering wheel. There was only one other way to get money. I would have to sell my car. I wasn't particularly attached to my car; it was more of the assurance I received, knowing that I had some way to get away from something and vanish. Running wasn't exactly a feasible option when surrounded by humans. But I would just have to be very careful for a while.

Confidence, an alien feeling that I hadn't experienced in years, slowly coursed through me. I could do this. It was a vague plan: go to France, go to college and study something that would result in me getting a career that would last me the rest of eternity.

Vague, but nonetheless workable.

And god damn it, I would make it work. Because if it didn't, what would I do then?

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_May 12th  
5:40 PM_

I had always dreamed of traveling. It wasn't just the idea of going to new places and experiencing new foods and traditions but it was just the feeling you got as you went from place to place.

As a middle-class kid living on a Native American didn't exactly have the opportunity to travel the world much less dream of it, but that didn't stop me from buying National Geographic magazines and leaving them stacked under my bed. After Sam though, my dreams took a new direction towards kids and family.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the back of the chair, swallowing to get rid of the lump in my throat. Thinking about Sam or anything related to him or La Push wouldn't do any good for me. Taking deep breaths, I willed myself to stop thinking about such painful things. It was a waste of time. They were in my past and wouldn't be in my present or future if I had anything to do with. It wouldn't be easy to forget about the pain I went through but I would try because the peace I would hopefully and eventually achieve would be worth it all.

I opened my eyes and stared at the domed ceiling. I wonder, is this how smokers feel when they were promising themselves to quit?

"All passengers boarding Air France flight 782 to Paris, France please have your passport and boarding pass ready as you get in line to board."

"Finally," I couldn't help but mutter as I stood up with my bag. I stretched my arms up, exerting a sigh. Three hours was far too long to sit in one chair.

I sent a small glare at a guy who obviously couldn't keep his eyes to himself as I pulled down my t-shirt that had ridden up. I walked over the line, thankful for my long legs that helped me get there before the mad rush.

I watched a mother trying to round up her rowdy kids for a few seconds before senses alerted me to a smell.

I took a deep breath, analyzing the foreign smell.

I could feel panic slowly begin to rise in me, but the thing is, my inner wolf wasn't fighting to get out as it would if the smell registered as vampire. There was no sense of comradeship so it wasn't a shape shifter. And it just wasn't human.

So what was it?

I took another breath only this time I couldn't smell anything. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

After another few breaths, I still couldn't get that smell and I shook my head.

I was probably just imagining it.

"Madamoiselle?"

I started and looked at the attendant. A blush spread across my cheeks. "Right, sorry."

The attendant verified me and I moved towards the next attendant who would allow me on board.

Only two things ran through my mind as I walked through the pathway to the airplane.

One was slight disgust at myself for blushing like that Bella Swan but the other soon displaced it: I was finally moving on and starting my new life.

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I'm not happy with this chapter. Does it show?

Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter and put me on story alert! You guys are awesome :)

Reviews are greatly appreciated :)

Questions? Formspring(dott)me/KKhoshbin


	3. So Tell Me How Does It Feel?

LeahxOC

Chapter Song: Tigers & Sharks _by_ You Me At Six

(c) Miss Non Conformist

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**Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. -- Maria Robinson**

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_May 14  
10:55 AM_

The sad thing was, I was starting to miss my mother's cooking.

And the fanciest thing my mother could make was a slightly burned veggie lasagna. Poor Charlie Swan had no idea what he was getting into with her. At least the Pizza Hut in Forks wouldn't lose its main customer.

I swung my legs off the bed, planting them on the floor. I rubbed my sore neck. Being a werewolf helped you heal fast, but it sure as hell didn't save you from lumpy hotel beds.

The only thing that saved you from lumpy hotel beds was money. Money equaled a comfortable mattress in an apartment. A comfortable mattress in an apartment equaled my getting a job.

Which I would go looking for today.

I stared distastefully at the pair of worn forest green shorts I held in front of me before slipping them on.

The first thing I would do after I got a stable job was go a little shopping. Then I would worry about an apartment. Looking like a hobo would get me nowhere.

Thankful that I had taken a shower last night, I paired the shorts with a long sleeved shirt and a jacket. Paris, or no Paris, fashion would have to wait until I got myself a job.

A half-hour later, I was walking across the Avenue des Champs-Elysees and onto Avenue George. The desk-clerk had recommended that I look for a job there as it was a street that was filled with cafes, restaurants, pubs, wineries and clubs. It was any wonder how French people stayed so thin without the werewolf gene what with all the great food that surrounded them (and I was judging from the smell).

I walked down the street at a moderate pace, so that I didn't miss any possible "Now Hiring" signs.

I spotted one sitting in the window of a bakery. I stepped in and immediately stopped in my tracks.

Pink.

Pink.

Pink.

And more pink.

It was like I had entered every 6 year old girl's fantasy land, sans the ponies.

A young woman about my age stepped in front of me and held me in a tight embrace, before letting me go, her hands on my forearms.

"Bienvenue!" she sang. "Comment peut je vous aider?"

"J'ai vu ton…" I paused, fumbling with my words. I had actually ended up sleeping on the 8 hour flight here. The closest I had gotten to catching up on my French was watching a couple a few seats in front of me bicker about the woman's in-laws. Apparently the mother-in-law thought that the man was a cross dresser and subsequently thought that her daughter was bi. It was obvious that their weekend had not ended well.

Recognition dawned in the girl's, or rather woman's eyes. "Ooohh! You're an American, no?" her words were understandable despite the strong French tinge to them.

I sheepishly smiled. "Yeah. My French is out of practice."

She giggled, her hands finally leaving my forearms to cup her mouth, smothering her giggles. She waved a hand in the air. "No problem. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I saw the now hiring sign in the window, and I was wondering-"

Her expression turned serious.

"Do you have a background in deserts?"

"Err…no." I realized then how stupid I was to have even walked in here. Where was a Wal-Mart in need of employees when you needed one?

She frowned a little before crushing me with another one of her soon-to-be infamous hugs while at the same time jumping up and down.

I untangled her arms from me and pushed her away. The giant grin on her face faded a little, before she waved one of her hands in the air as if to say "It's ok, it's ok. I know I'm making you claustrophobic, but that's not really the subject here."

My face was still contorted into somewhat of a shocked look, but the girl continued on, clapping her hands together and jumping up and down a little.

I think I've just met a descendant of that pixie vampire. I very nearly shuddered.

"You're hired!" She shouted, her blond ponytail swinging with her movements.

Never mind that theory. The vampire was smarter than this one.

I shook my head a little. "But, I-"

"It doesn't matter. I can train you, and together we'll be the best bakers in Paris!" she paused. "Of course, that's not including all French pastry chefs above the age of 50. There's no way to beat those guys." The young woman shook her head despairingly before grinning (again) and putting her hand out. "I'm Angele."

I took her hand, gave it a quick shake and then proceeded to retract it as quickly as possible before she could notice the extreme heat radiating from her. But Angele didn't allow me and tightened her grip on my hand, proceeding to drag me along behind the display cases filled with pastries and cakes and through the door leading to the kitchen in the back.

She let go of my hand and made a dramatic flourish. "Ta-da!"

I looked around at the rather quaint kitchen, noticing that it seemed...barren.

I raised an eyebrow at Angele. "Why does half the kitchen look like a kitchen and half of it look demolished and empty?"

Angele twirled a strand of hair between her fingers, grinning sheepishly. "Well, I guess this is where I explain."

I nodded, leading her out of the kitchen and to a table by the shop window. I sat down and focused my gaze on her.

"Soo..." she trailed, unsure of what to say. Her eyes flickered to mine before looking back down at the table again. "My parents and I don't....agree on many things. One of them which was my entering cuisine school. My buying this place and turning into a pastry shop was the last straw between us, and along with our other "problems" it brought us to a breaking point 2 months ago. Long story short, I live above the shop in a flat and I live alone, with very little contact from others. My parents and I don't talk."

She sighed and her her arms shook a little, giving away the fact that she was nervously wringing her hands under the table. It was a 180 degree turn around from the girl I had seen jumping up and down in glee minutes ago. My eyes softened and I gave her a reassuring smile, urging her to continue. So Angele knew what loneliness felt like too, even if it was just a little.

Angele smiled a little. "My older brother lives here in Paris, but he hasn't really come to visit because of our parents. He's always been the obedient one, which is rather ironic considering the circumstances..." she muttered crossly trailing off.

"Anyways, he's actually coming here in a few days to help me with completing the rest of the kitchen, but my parents don't know, so he's swinging by their place first."

I could see her eyes brighten at the mention of him coming to help her and I felt a pang in my heart as I remembered Seth. But I didn't have much of a right to think of Seth's well being, even if he's brother.

Seth and I would always be related by blood, but he was no longer my brother. I had failed my commitment to him as a sister once I had turned into La Push's most hated. Boys want to be stared at for looks or "awesomeness," not because people pity him for being related to someone they feel should drop off the planet. I had failed him and so I wouldn't even think of myself as his sister. He deserved someone who could do much more for him than I ever could. I no longer existed in Seth's life and I knew that his life had improved in the few days I had been gone because he didn't have the hassle of putting up with me.

I tuned back into what Angele was saying. Her countenance was much happier now and she was describing what kind of pastries she would teach me to make first.

We chatted happily for a few hours until I said that I had to leave. I didn't really want to, but talking to someone who viewed me as a normal person, perhaps even someone nice was refreshing, but albeit somewhat exhausting. I didn't know much about what was going on in current events and so Angele had done much of the talking.

Before I walked out the door, Angele grabbed my hand. I turned around to find her staring at the floor shyly.

"I didn't just enter you into my confidence because you were my employee. I was hoping you'd also be my friend."

I nodded without hesitation. "Of course." I said.

But I should have just run away. I could never be a friend, someone who you would consider a confidante and someone that you can depend on. How could I tell her that the last time I had a friend was 2 years ago? I didn't even remember my high school friends despite the fact that most of them lived on the same reservation. But instead of walking away, I nodded, hoping I would be able to be what she was wishing for, if not for her then for me.

A smile was upon her face again, but she kept her eyes trained on the ground.

"Then…I was wondering, since we're going to be working together and be friends and everything, plus you're practically helping me start this place, would you like to move into the flat with me upstairs?"

Seeing the hesitancy in my face, she hurried on. "You'd have your own room of course. And I'm quite agreeable to live with, plus-"

She rambled on and I considered the possibility. It would definitely beat living in a crappy hotel and it would be more convenient since I was going to work here. Besides, it wasn't possible for me to grow attached to her. The past had taught me not to depend and while we might become friends, we would never become the kind of close nit kind of best friends you saw in the Hallmark movies. My past would never allow it.

The second I nodded, the 5 foot nine blonde was hugging me and I'm sure that if I wasn't a werewolf, my ribs would have been shattered from the strength she put into it.

"You aren't going to regret it!" she said and let me go. She shooed me out of the shop and yelled after me, "GO PACK GIRLIE!"

I chuckled a little as I walked back to the hotel. This girl was crazy. Maybe this would turn out to be a good thing for me.

That is, if Fate decided I had gone through enough pain.

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**If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything. -- Win Borden**

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Hey :)

So, I intended to get this out yesterday on here and on Mibba, but I ended up getting it out today. I'm not one of those authors who gives their readers short filler chapters just so that they won't be hounded by their readers. It's about quality.

So I've been feeling pretty...crappy lately due to numerous reasons. One reason is that my counselor is recommending that I don't take AP Psych next year because it'll be too much writing on top of AP US History and AP English Language & Composition. Umm, excuse me, but I've talked to some of my upperclassmen friends and I know what I'm getting into. Plus, I'm not like a lot of other kids who hate writing in the way that I write VOLUNTARILY. Plus the way, she figures it out, she's left out Physics of both next year and senior year (which I need to graduate) and has forced five APs on me senior year. What the frappe? But now I'm confused. And I don't know what to do. AT ALL. I'm usually the laid back one, but right now I'm beyond confused and worried on the inside.

Sorry. I needed to vent. Whoops? :P

So thank you to o0FLAM3S0o, HansWorth, LoveIt123, SaraSyco, , Kimmydonn (thanks for checking out my story :) ) & Brinkyfly45 for their awesome reviews and thanks to everyone who placed me on review alert. _Savez-vous que vous êtes impressionnants?_ (Do you guys know that you are awesome?)

Review please. They honestly make my day. Criticism is welcome if that's what you guys are afraid of ;)


	4. And Nobody Knows What Its Like

LeahxOC

Chapter Song: Safer to Hate Her _by_ You Me At Six

"And nobody knows what its like

to live and die on the inside

And nobody knows what its like

to be one of a kind."

(c) Miss Non Conformist

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**"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." - Mother Teresa**

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_May 14_  
_6:56 PM_

The throbbing ache at the pit of my stomach grew stronger, forcing me to skid into the bathroom of my hotel room after carelessly flinging the shopping bags aside. Shutting the door, I placed my back against it and slid down, whimpers sneaking past my lips.

I hadn't phased for three days and it was definitely getting to me. It felt like thousands of needles were continuously being stuck in my skin and then pulled out, the process repeating again and again to create a prickling sensation that skated all over my skin, the pain making me grimace.

I had to phase now. But where? Paris wasn't like La Push or Forks; filled with trees and forests to run through until you couldn't catch your breath.

I wrapped an arm around my stomach and bolted out of my hotel room, slipping the key into my pocket. Taking the stairs, I walked out of the hotel, keeping to human pace. Map in hand, I walked to a grove in the park. It was a tuesday night too, so the park was devoid of children and parents.

Perfect.

I checked around again before starting to strip.

Phasing after a week or so was more painful that usual. I couldn't stop letting out a howl at the excruciating feeling of my bones grinding against one another as they rearranged themselves. My eyes were squeezed shut as my body trembled and I dropped to the ground, crouching.

I heaved a sigh, that came out as a heavy growl, once I finished phasing. My body was sore from the lack of phasing but at least the worst part was over.

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7:42 PM

Paris had a night life but luckily, my distressed appearance was ignored as I rushed to my hotel. I sat down in one of the plush chairs in the lobby trying to calm down and get my breathing back to normal.

_I was about to phase back when I heard someone talking in my head. I hadn't heard anyone in-_

_"LEAH! LEAH! WHERE ARE YOU? LEAH!" _

Seth.

He sounded worried. But why would he be worried? He was probably angry.

A growl emenated in my head. Jacob._ "His sister just went missing, Leah. He's fucking worried about you and you think he's angry? What the fuck Leah?"_

Jacob was more pissed off. Probably because they lost the opportunity to have a "We're Getting Rid of Leah" Party.

_"What the-? Leah! Mom and I are freaking out! Heck, the whole pack is-"_

Jacob cut off Seth's ranting.

_"Where are you, Leah? Tell me-"_

I phased back out of pure fear of him finishing that Alpha command.

Tears started streaking down my dirty face. Today had started out rather nicely but they just had to ruin it? Where was the edict that said I had to live a miserble life?

Clothes on, I started walking out the grove but a rustling sound stopped me. A growl followed the rustling and the momentary relief I felt at it not being human washed away as fear replaced it. I didn't dare look back at the animal and continued my fast pace in the opposite direction.

I stood up and went to the stairway.

I ignored the stares that the elderly couple waiting outside the elevator sent me and continued to my room, swiping my card and locking the door after I had stepped in. I walked past the thrown bags and the items that had spilled out of them and walked to the bathroom. I peered at myself in the mirror and immediately grimaced. It looked like I had gone playing in the forest, what with streaks of mud coating my face and the exposed parts of my arms and legs.

But my eyes were still the same.

Dull.

Lifeless.

Ugly.

Like me.

My hands gripped the countertop harder and my eyes narrowed at the reflection in the mirror.

I was an ugly person, inside and out. There had never been a 'Sweet Leah" pre and during Sam. What Sam had done, how Emily had betrayed my, what my shape-shifting ancestors had brought upon me and the sole fact that I was the reason why my father was now sruck in some chap coffin six feet under had brought out all of my negative traits in full force. The events that had transpired in those few months had brought out my true, horrid personality.

It wasn't just Sam and Emily. It was the fact that I turned into a monster-like creature at the slightest feeling of irritation. It was the fact that I had had my heart broken again and again: first by Sam, then by Emily, then by my father, then by the vampires who induced my phasing, then by the pack, then my mother and brother and finally by everyone else.

Everyone had left me.

Alone.

Defenseless.

Broken.

And they weren't coming back.

I was shunned. And for good reason.

But what did they expect? Everyone had slowly left me. My defense mechanisms were sarcasm and being rude. What was I supposed to do? Sit pretty and wait until they felt like I was good enough to even be glanced at?

Rage, hurt and heartbreak swirled around in my bloodstream, mixing until I felt the counter crack, my knuckles vampire white. I quickly let go and backed to the wall, sliding down. I hid my face in my hands, tears spilling through my fingers and wetting my bare legs. I wasn't sure what hurt the most: the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that would encompass my being and follow me every bout of my immortal existence or knowing that I would never be able to make someone happy in a relationship because they would cast me aside for someone better once they found out how worthless I was.

I let out a hollow laugh that came out more like a strangled sob.

I would never even die. I had no goals, no dreams, no aspirations. I didn't know anything other than the life of a shapeshifter.

I sunk into a fetal position on the floor, tears continuing to leak out of the corners of my tightly shut eyes. My arms wrapped around my legs as if holding them would keep me grounded in this god forsaken life.

God had forsaken me.

I was neglected by him and everyone else.

They all thought I was so strong and a bitch, not worthy of their attention.

Nobody even noticed I was broken. As far as anyone was concerned, I ruined lives.

But didn't anyone realize they had ruined mine beyond repair?

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**"Why is your tongue so sharp?"**

**"All the better to try and prevent you from hurting me even more, my dear." - Miss Non Conformist**

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Chapter Title & Description: Safer to Hate Her by You Me At Six :)

The quote at the end was one I came up with. Its based off of the wolf in little red riding hood.

So I haven't really been replying to comments. I AM SO SORRY! I promise to reply from now on!

A fairly common comment I got on Mibba was that Angele reminded them of a friend or someone in their lives. Can I say how happy that makes me? Very happy. Because I've actually never met anyone like Angele so I was afraid I was making her too unbelievable.

**To me, comments are like a nice bowl of strawberry icecream on a ninety-degree day during Memorial Day weekend. Please save this writer from the heat by commenting :)**


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